There are at least three reasons not to simulate going to the bathroom when you’re playing a college football game.
- It looks silly.
- The 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty that could follow.
- People will tend to overlook that you just had one of the most productive days for your position in recent history.
This is the tale of Texas edge-rusher Colin Simmons, who tied Texas’ single-game record with five sacks of Tennessee quarterback Faizon Brandon in the Longhorns’ 20-17 win over the Volunteers. After his second sack, Simmons decided to do… well, something in “celebration.”
Which obscured the fact that Simmons had such a dominant performance in the first place.
“We took him out, we addressed it and put him back in,” Texas head coach Steve Sarkisian said post-game. “At that point, I’m not going to give the guy a death penalty over an unsportsmanlike conduct. We’ve got to fix it, though. That can’t continue.”
One reason Sarkisian was that tolerant was that Simmons was unstoppable, with another sack wiped out by a face mask penalty (not on him), and 10 total pressures. The five sacks tied several players for the FBS’ third-most sacks in a game since 1995, and wherever he was on the field, Simmons was an absolute nightmare for Tennessee’s offense and Brandon in particular. Whether he was lined up on the edge, aligned as a 3-tech rusher, or spying the mobile Brandon from an off-the-ball location and then converging, Simmons looked every bit the high draft pick he’ll undoubtedly be next year.
With sacks against Ohio State in Week 2, and UTSA in Week 3, Simmons is now tied with LSU’s Princewill Umanmielen for the most sacks in college football with seven. The 6-foot-3, 246-pounder should be of significant interest to all NFL teams sooner than later.
The only thing Simmons needs to develop now is a better way of celebrating his considerable accomplishments.
